SkinsAlive

Hey rides do you mind if I ask you some advice?

sure man, one playa to another more sucessful playa wid a bigger dick

me!

yeh I got that mate. Right so it's about a girl

SEND ME A PHOTO!

No, anyway I've kind of been shagging her

WOOOOAAAH CREEVEYS GETTING PPPOOOON!!!!

anyway

PLAYA PLAYA PLAYA who is this babe, do I know her?

No, she's from Bath

Oh mate chicks from bath are sluts. I once boned a chick from bath in a bath. It was SICK!

Good story. So look, we've done it a few times and it's been fucking magic but it's whenever she wants and very casual hush hush so basically I want to keep her coming back

I see, playa 2 needs infinate lives but keeps getting killed by the sex dragon

???

Don’t worry creevey. I was once voted the best fuck in North Avon, I can give you some tips to keep her on the shagwagon

Cheers Rides, you're a ledge

right, start with basics. If I wanna get a girl on the big O in seconds I do a move called the dambusters

k

not exactly what I was thinking

ok, when you're at it, try lowering her self esteem by commenting on her appearance and insulting her family but just say it casually. I don’t know how it works but it gives them the a-bomb of orgasms

I won't try that with this girl, she'll probs detatch my balls with a spanner

in foreplay I like to use food

like chocolate sauce and fruit? That sort of shit?

nah that shits for pussys. I use cuts of meat

maybe this was a mistake Rides

woah woah, ok sorry man. Maybe I went in too extreme, but I've got some simple tips if you want them

Alright then… cheers man

firstly, just take your time yeah, don't rush into shagging straight off, give her a bit of time to get properly into it

sounds like good advice, thanks Rides

then when you think she's ready, leap onto her from a height, I use a ladder. She wont expect but she will FUCKING LOVE IT MATE. Check it out

Girls also love it when you shout out the part of her body you're touching so do that asap

Also screaming in general is always a top move. The vibrations will make her go fucking apeshit for you mate, so just yell the whole time!

have you ever heard of 'flenking'? If not I've got a fucked up video to send you, gotta try it mate

Creevs

You there mate?

Creevey?!!!

I'm gonna find those videos anyway- msg me if you want the links ok

Hey McGuinness

Fuck off Ride

Just wanted to say, really sorry for your loss babe

oh, right. Thanks that sweet

yeh I know. So how are you… inside?

I don't really want to talk about it tbh

you must have some crazy emotions knocking about in there

I'm fine Rider, let's just leave it

if you need someone there you know to make you feel better : p, I'm there babe, there with bells on.

Thanks for being such a gentleman Rider but I'm going to respectfully say fuck off you massive creep.

I'll take that as a maybe

Hey, mcguinness, sorry about yesterday

Mcguinness come on…

I have a right not to respond Farmboy

It wasn't that bad was it?

You shouted down my lady parts freakazoid!

Yeh ok, now I think about it it sounds weird.

You fucking think!?

Look I had it on very good authority that it's meant to feel good

What from rider??

How the fuck did you know that?

I know everything little boy. You obvs went to him for tips didn't you?

fuck you're like a mind wizard!

and don't think I didn't notice that numbero uno comment before you came round mr p.i.m.p

that was nothing

Rider told you that I rejected him didn’t he? It's not cos I fucking want to be with you farmboy, it's because Rider is a filthy tramp

ok I get it

If you ever do that again the whole deal is off. I am NOT your girlfriend. Say it back to me

you're not my girlfriend

and next time, just let that thing of yours do the work

so… there will be a next time

don't get cocky

thought you like the 'cockiness'